No Regrets

So, in the interest of full disclosure, we are back home in Raleigh. This began a few weeks ago when we were planning our trip to Oklahoma for October. We found out that Russell would be coming back to Raleigh for a work trip. I won’t lie I was JEALOUS. While we have had many fun times and memories and the kids have been AMAZING, I’ve been honest in that this has been a hard adjustment for me. I also tried to lean into knowing this was an adjustment & that I couldn’t make a call on the full experience this soon.

Oklahoma was really just a middle point between Nashville and Austin, and we were open to new (random) places when we planned the trip so we figured-why not. However as it got closer and I realized I’d be in Oklahoma with our kids while Russell was at home. I so badly wanted to be home. Not home as in the home we sold- that decision we are all completely happy with. We were needing more space and were selling anyway. I mean home as in having my things, in my space, with my family and friends, in my city. Immediately, we decided we should just rework our plans and come home for a few weeks before heading to Florida.

As we began planning our trip home I couldn’t help but just be honest with Russell. I wasn’t happy. I wanted to be home, and not just for a few weeks. This was absolutely zero percent surprising to him. I tried to be a trooper, but I think my cat like behavior and frequent tears gave me away before my words did. I missed having a home. I missed cooking with my pots and pans. I missed knowing where things are, and what things are there- no coffee maker in this house? You’re kidding, right?! I missed using MY towels and sheets and dishes that I KNEW were clean. We weren’t staying in dirty places at all, they were quite nice. They just weren’t mine. I fully admit I am a germaphobe. I also admit I’m partial to my things. I think we all are but I guess being home with the kids over the past 5 years had me accustomed to well…home.

I want to be clear in saying we have NO regrets about the past few months though. Truly, zero. Except maybe the day I had Chick-fil-a and got food poisoning. I regret that.

I have learned a lot about myself. I’ve learned that as much as I LOVE to travel, I love being home more. We had Russell “home” with us during the day and that was a treat. I had downtime. Actual leisure time. It’s amazing how much free time I had. More than I’m comfortable with if I’m being honest, but that gave me a lot of time for reflection, and reading, and playing a LOT of Go Fish. I’ve learned that I actually like some quiet. I’ve learned that in the future I’ll leave a lot more margin and space for downtime. I’ve learned that I actually really enjoyed many aspects of homeschool. I’ve learned that chasing your dreams is amazing, and so is having the awareness to know when a change of course is needed.

So we did. We changed course. I’m sure everyone had opinions about us traveling full time. I’m sure people will have even more about us coming home three months later. I made it clear from the very beginning we didn’t know how long we’d do this and should it not work for anyone, we were TOTALLY fine coming home. We aren’t coming home with our tail between our legs. This was absolutely what was best for our family and I’m so glad we were able to show our kids what it looks like to chase your dream AND that sometimes, you just have to stop and reevaluate. I want to show them to go after their goals, but also to have zero shame in knowing what is best for them at different points of time. It’s ok to change your mind!

If parenting and especially parenting adopted children has taught me anything it’s been trial and error. Recognizing what works, and what needs to change. Our kids are amazing, adaptable, flexible children. Partly because they’ve had to be with their life circumstances, and partly because we’ve conditioned them this way. Things change. Life throws you amazing things and painful curveballs. My job as their parent isn’t to cushion the difficult. Its to walk with them through it and teach them to navigate it. They are truly some of the most flexible, go with the flow, kids I know. I’m proud of how amazing they’ve handled all the changes. They did FAR better than their mom! Such troopers. They were excited to travel, and now they’re excited to be back close to family and friends.

SO, our visit home, turned into just being home. We met with our realtor to see properties in the area, we saw several but found the one! You guys. We are under contract on an amazing home. It couldn’t have been a more perfect situation if I had designed it myself. That’s another post, but you guys- we are so excited. We gave the kids the choice to continue the year with homeschool or to enroll in the school their districted to. We had mixed feelings on this but ultimately decided to have them enroll at our local elementary. Today was their first day & I can’t wait to pick them up and hear all about it!

Zero regrets. Truly. I wouldn’t change a thing. I’m so thankful for the opportunities we were given to travel. I’m thankful for the supportive family, friends, and coworkers we had during that process. I’m thankful for all the memories we made. I’m so thankful for the example we set for our kids to not just have dreams but to make them happen. I’m so thankful they’re amazingly flexible. I’m so grateful for how every.single.step has been perfectly orchestrated. I’m SO excited for the new house we will call home. The kids are so excited to have a huge yard, a cul-de-sac, and their own rooms. Russell is excited that his family is happy and I’m so thankful that he still loves me even when I just can’t sleep one more month in someone else’s bed. He’s the best. I was so worried my feelings were squashing HIS dream, but he assured me having his family happy WAS his dream. See, I told you. THE BEST. So here’s to traveling, just from a home base. Finding the perfect balance.

I can’t wait to show you guys our new home. We close in just a few short weeks & will tell you all about it but did want to update here so it’s all out there!

Always an adventure with this crew. Wanted to keep you all on your toes 😉

 

 

 

 

 


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s